


the tarot cards say it's not so bad

by roselatte



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: First Dates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-25 17:57:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16202687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roselatte/pseuds/roselatte
Summary: “I might throw up on you,” Adam warned.Ronan slung an arm around Adam’s shoulder. “I’ll live.”(They try to have a lighthearted first date. It mostly works.)





	the tarot cards say it's not so bad

Adam shut his locker, and Gansey was already there, leaned up against Ronan’s locker.

He fist bumped Adam, and wasted no further pretense. ”Have you seen Ronan today?”

“You know I came to school with him.”

“No, I mean he wasn’t here last class.”

“He’s my ride so he’d better be back. Has he texted you?” It irked Adam to have to ask this. He needed to get a phone soon.

“He hasn’t, obviously.” In a failed attempt at nonchalance, Gansey drawled, “so he’s your ride.”

“I don’t know what that tone means,” Adam said.

“Just that—you two have it worked out, then?”

“Why are you asking?” Adam muttered. “Ronan knows what we are.”

Adam hoped so. He slipped out the B(oyfriend) word once but the person whose reaction mattered the most wasn’t there to hear it.

“Does he?” Gansey’s teasing smile shifted down to pursed lips as he peered past Adam. “Speak of the devil.”

“Hey losers,” Ronan said, coming up behind Adam.

He balanced three iced coffees in one hand while the other was stuck in his pocket. It reminded Adam of those waiters who walked around balancing ten plates on each arm.

“Why don’t you just hold one of them in your other hand?” Adam asked.

“You don't get it. It’s a look.”

“A bad look.”

Before Ronan could say something sarcastic to that, Gansey said, “you ditched seventh for coffee? I had to partner up with Chadington.”

“Did you die, though?”

A gasp. “Too soon!”

Adam snickered and Ronan flashed him a smile.

“Cheng didn’t have a last period so we got coffee with Blue,” Ronan explained.

Gansey accepted the coffee Ronan angled to him.

“It’s a bit strong.”

“Blue spit in it.”

Ronan offered another one to Adam.

The _no thanks_ was standing ready to go in his mouth. But Ronan got coffee for Gansey too, clearly without telling him, and Gansey got to have Ronan’s number on top of that. Adam swallowed the words.

“Thanks,” he said, taking the coffee.

“It’s hazelnut.”

“That’s my favorite.”

Gansey glanced between them, appearing unsettlingly happy. “Well, I’ve got a hot date, so I guess, I’ll skedaddle, I suppose.” He took a couple of shuffling steps backward before turning away from them.

Adam knocked his coffee against Ronan’s. “We should do one of those.”

“One of what?” Ronan was also turning away, walking in the opposite direction to the back parking lot.

“A date.” Adam bit the straw between his teeth as if keeping his words messy would protect him from any rejection. “We’ve never gone on one.”

Ronan wouldn’t reject him.

“Arent we—” Ronan wasn’t looking at Adam, either for Adam’s benefit or his own. “We’re kinda fucking late for first dates.”

Not a rejection. Not exactly. Gansey’s joking _does he_ echoed through his head in a very not-joking way.

Adam enjoyed the safety of staring at the back of Ronan’s neck for a few more moments.

Then he hooked his fingers into the lower two bands of Ronan’s bracelets and tugged him to a stop. Ronan threw him a questioning look over his shoulder.

“You know I like you, right?” It was a laughably inadequate phrase for what Adam felt and how intensely he felt it, but until he could say the words he wanted, those would have to hold.

Ronan was bewildered. “Yeah, I know.”

Of course he knew, he had to. They had seen too much of each other for him to not know. But still, Ronan said it so _lightly_.

He needed to make sure. Adam tugged him to a stop again. Ronan glared.

“Seriously though, I really like you.”

He considered Adam through a long slurp of his coffee. “Dude. I get it. I like you too.”

Adam bit back a smile, feeling stupid for all the good reasons. His fingers dropped from Ronan’s bracelets to his hand, locking their fingers together. The door by them opened and several students shoved their way out.

The hallway was suddenly very crowded, and their hands were still clasped together.

They didn’t do this much in front of strangers. Adam squeezed Ronan’s hand.

“Who cares if it’s too late, then? Go on a date with me, Lynch.”

Ronan’s ears had gone a little pink. “Jesus, fine. Walk faster—” he slowed his pace down to match Adam's— “I need to hear some raw shit to get fucking skedaddle out of my head.”

 

Adam was outlining his essay in the library a few days later when Ronan collapsed into the chair next to his. He pressed his elbow against Ronan’s and scribbled down a citation.

“Can you get off work one day next weekend?”

Adam grimaced; he was setting money aside for a phone. “Why?”

Ronan made a face like his next words were causing him physical pain. “For the date.”

“But I asked you on the date," Adam protested, "I get to figure it out.”

“Well forget it. I have two tickets to this festival thing next weekend.”

“What if I was planning for the movies?”

“Then I’ll give one to Blue and Cheng and Dick can fight over the other one.” He tilted his head, thinking. “Actually, I should give it to Henry. He might win me a prize with that Robobee thing.”

Adam frowned. “I could win you a prize. And I wouldn’t need to cheat.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Were the tickets free? Is that why you want to go? So I don’t have to pay?”

“Fucking hell.” Ronan unzipped his backpack and brought out two ticket cards. “They’re free because my parents donated a shitload to whoever sets it up. I haven’t been since dad died.”

“Oh.” Adam took one of the tickets. He let his fingertips brush over Ronan’s knuckles.

“You’re gonna have to pay anyway if you want to win prizes. That’s not free.”

“Prizes for you,” Adam added.

“Whatever.” Ronan was smirking. “How did you wanna do this?

“Well.” Adam turned in his seat. “I could pick you up and...” and he didn’t know. He smiled apologetically at Ronan. “This would be easier if I had a phone.”

“Why? I don’t use mine.”

“Yes, you do. We could text and stuff. Plan this out better.” Adam could send Ronan good morning texts, text Ronan to pick him up, text Ronan when studying and work got too much.

Ronan pulled out a pad of blue post-it notes from his backpack.

Adam raised a brow. “You use post-its?”

“Don’t get so damn shocked. Opal likes the way they taste.”

He took Adam’s pen and started writing on one, hunching over when Adam tried to peek. He pushed it over to Adam once he was done.

“There. We can still text if you want it so bad.”

The note read, ‘festival thing yes or no?’ Under it were the options ‘yes’ and ‘I’d rather deepthroat a cactus in which case one will be provided since Parrish does not back the fuck out.’

“The phone is gonna happen, Adam,” Ronan assured.

Adam put a check mark next to the “yes” and stuck the post-it on the back of Ronan’s hand.

“Until it happens, are you gonna leave around cute messages like this for me to find?”

“Ha. Let’s not start having standards.”

 

Adam wasn’t sure what cost him more, buying the flowers or the gas money from driving to ten individual florists. In spring, he would pick the flowers from the ground himself.

He could pick up extra shifts, he could deal with the guilt of it tomorrow. Just for today, he’d let himself not care about money.

He plucked the giant lily and moved it to the center.

He arranged the bouquet himself, and it showed. It was unruly and patternless, difficult to look at by possibly anyone except Ronan Lynch.

He didn’t know how seriously Ronan would take the date. He was serious enough get the tickets, but Adam didn’t doubt he’d have a whole set of stupid jokes about this planned. 

Adam shifted the lily back and placed the sunflower in the center. He picked the bouquet up; if he stayed staring at it any longer, he'd never leave.

He opened his door, and Ronan was on the other side, one hand raised to knock. He glanced from Adam’s face to the flowers and back again.

“Are those for me?”

What kind of question. The surprise came and went rapidly, and that only left Adam with irritation; he was supposed to pick Ronan up.

“No, they’re for the nun downstairs.”

Ronan pulled his other hand out from behind his back, and in it was a thin vase of blue flowers. “Shit, really? Mine too.”

And just like that, the irritation vanished.

“Why did you come here?” Adam moved aside to let Ronan in.

"I got bored of waiting around for you."

The second Ronan set the vase on his desk, Adam pushed the bouquet into his arms.

Adam touched one of the blue flowers. “What are these?”

All of them were different shades of blue. They seemed like roses, but also daisies, but also tulips.

“They’re flowers.”

Ronan was staring down at the flowers in his arms with an indescribable expression. Adam was particularly fond of his face then.

“Ronan c’mon.”

Ronan looked at him, his expression conflicted. “I don’t know, okay? I dreamt them.” He touched one, a pale, veiny blue. “They’re supposed to be the color of your eyes under different lights. Whatever I remembered. I don’t fucking know.”

Adam processed this at a snail’s pace. He understood what it meant; it was Ronan's way of showing that his dreams weren't always terrible. They had many conversations, but none about that. Not the nightmares, not his mother, not Adam’s inevitable leaving.

The feeling that rose in him then was a familiar one, one he could only ever visualize.

It rose the highest first when after all the horrible things had ended, he caught Ronan’s wrenched gaze watching Blue run into her mother’s arms.

It happened often nowadays in a soft simmer when Ronan would stay over late at his apartment. He’d study until his hand cramped up and Ronan would catch him flexing it before he realized he was doing it. He’d take Adam’s hand and massage deeply wherever it hurt. They would speak with nothing but their eyes.

He wanted Ronan to sit between his lungs, right under his heart, where he could always be safe and protected. Where whatever future demon undoubtedly coming after them would have to break through Adam’s ribs to get to him.

But it was a ridiculous image. Ronan would never on his own be small enough to fit between his lungs, and Adam couldn’t even dream of shrinking him to make it happen.

“You’re being embarrassing about this,” Ronan said bluntly.

“You’re embarrassing all on your own,” Adam retorted. He touched a dark blue one. “When did my eyes look like that?”

“Oh, that one.” Ronan’s tone made Adam automatically suspicious and the dial on the feeling turned down. “I was over at your place a while ago. It was late, your lamp was out, you were taking a break. Remember?”

“That could be so many days.”

Ronan shifted the flowers and touched the little indent between the corner of Adam’s jaw and his neck. “I was kissing you here and,” he fluttered his fingers, impossibly gentle, down to Adam’s collarbone, “and I kinda bit you here, not sure if you’re remembering now, but then I looked up and your eyes were that blue.”

Adam took his hand and pressed a quick kiss to his palm before letting it fall. “You’re such an asshole,” he said.

Ronan grinned, absolutely satisfied.

“Do these flowers mean anything?”

“Of course they do.”

Ronan squinted at him. “Are you gonna tell me?”

Adam tapped a fluffy yellow flower. “Those are Buttercups. Because you’re so immature.”

Ronan’s smile turned wicked. “Well if you want mature.” He slid the vase closer to Adam’s bed and shifted the dark blue flower until it was looming over his pillow. “You can think about me necking you every time you wake up.”

“Oh, you—”

And Ronan was running.

Adam chased after him, laughing and full of affection for the delicate way Ronan cradled the flowers.

He ran past Ronan to the driver’s side and pulled open the door for him.

“Look at me, being a dream boyfriend.” It wasn’t how he hoped for Ronan to hear the word, short of breath and not smooth at all, but it was too late.

Ronan simply said, “yeah, you are.”

Adam wanted to kiss off the slight quirk of his smile. He did, when Ronan got to his side.

“You know that’s not how it works though, right? I picked you up so I open the doors for you.”

“That’s your fault, I was supposed to pick you up.” He kissed the corner of Ronan’s lips, and then just kissed him again since his mouth was right there anyway. “Stop being ungrateful and get in your car.”

Ronan placed the flowers carefully in the backseat before starting his car.

“What if they wilt?” Adam asked while buckling his seatbelt. “We should drop them off at the Barns.”

“They won’t,” Ronan said it with such certainty Adam believed him.

They didn’t talk much on the drive there. Adam slotted his fingers between Ronan’s over the gear shift and recited all the parts of his car he was killing with the unnecessary swerves. The usual. They spent plenty of time alone together, but there were certain implications with this being a date. Adam didn’t know what those implications were, or if they were a product of his nerves, only that they were existing, floating with the same airy happiness he held.

“Hey,” Ronan said just as Adam noticed a Ferris wheel in the distance.

“What?”

“You’re not supposed to kiss until the end of the first date. You fucking player, Parrish.”

Adam scowled. “Who made these rules? And why are you suddenly following rules?”

They found parking easily since it was still early. The surrounding area had the same small town quiet charm as Henrietta, but the carnival itself was not quaint. There were full-on rollercoasters and a Starbucks.

“Rides,” Ronan decided at once.

“Can we go on something easy? I haven’t been on a rollercoaster before.”

By easy, Adam meant the Starbucks line, but naturally, Ronan led him to a monstrosity named The Shark’s Belly.

“I’ll wait out here,” Adam said.

“No see, sharks are cool. They have a bad rep because humans keep fucking with them. We’re all up in their space so what are they supposed to do but eat us? They’re pretty nice besides that.”

“Wow. You aren’t allowed to call me a nerd ever again.”

“It’s a fun ride, I swear.”

Adam sighed and got in the line with him. “It’s not the first time I’ve almost died for you.”

“Wow,” Ronan mocked, “you aren’t allowed to call me dramatic ever again.”

Ronan had lied; the ride was more than fun. The exhilaration was in the weightlessness, Ronan shouting, the wind shouting, him shouting. It was too fast for Adam to fear the height, and Ronan was too close for him to care.

And then the ride lurched to a stop and all of Adam’s organs came crashing back to where they were supposed to be. He put a hand over his mouth as he got out of the ride.

Ronan watched him with poorly hidden concern and allowed Adam to slump into his side.

“I might throw up on you,” Adam warned.

Ronan slung an arm around Adam’s shoulder. “I’ll live.”

“Really? That shirt looks expensive.”

“I have more expensive shirts.”

Adam turned his face to press his smile into Ronan’s arm.

Walking like this, Adam could imagine they came across as two best friends.

“Lilies,” he said.

“What?”

“From the flowers I got you,” Adam clarified. “I’m glad we had each other through, you know, everything.”

Ronan did not say anything. He was giving him the same unreadable look he gave the flowers earlier.

“Another ride?” Adam asked fondly.

Ronan nodded. Their shoulders brushed.

As much as Adam enjoyed the rush of the rides, the predictable nausea which that followed got old fast. After the seventh one, he pointed to a game stand, with giant stuffed toys strung up.

“I’m playing that.”

The game had no right to be as expensive as it was, so Adam had to win, regardless of getting Ronan a prize.

And he did win. He knocked down each round of the rotating, weighted bowling pins with the beanbags. He accepted a fat, purple parrot from the shocked tender and handed it over to Ronan.

“That was some magic shit, dude,” Ronan said. He patted the bird’s head. “Should I name her?”

“Depends on the name.”

“Cleaver.”

“No.”

“That’s not fair,” Ronan complained, “she’s mine.”

“I won her, so we have joint custody,” Adam reasoned. “She should be Sunflower.”

“She’s fucking purple,” Ronan said. “Wait, is this another flower thing?”

“Yeah.” He nudged Ronan’s shoulder. “Those were because I want you to be happy.”

Ronan groaned. “God, stop that.”

“Don’t be a coward, you asked for what they meant.”

Ronan puffed out both of his cheeks in annoyance and Adam couldn’t help but squish them.

“Whatever smartass.” It came out mushy, what with Adam’s fingers still squishing. “See if you can win that game.”

That Game had tiny water guns that he had to shoot through moving targets. Another blatantly rigged, overpriced game which he won with ease. Ronan’s arms were both wrapped around Sunflower so Adam handed the stuffed penguin to the kid next to him.

“It’s kinda hot how good you are at these.”

“You’re so weird.”

Ronan directed them to a funnel cake stand and ordered the largest stack.

“My turn to pay.” And that was clearly planned; the cakes cost more than both games combined.

They sat across from each other on a bench and Ronan pushed the whipped cream and maraschino cherries over to Adam’s side. Adam made a big production of licking the sugar off the cherries while meeting Ronan’s gaze.

He would feel silly doing it if not for the heat in Ronan’s eyes.

After they finished, he dragged Adam by the arm behind the larger rollercoasters, to a concealed, gravelly path up against the fencing.

They stumbled as they walked along it, clumsy from trading cherry-flavored, syrupy kisses between each step.

“I’m not putting out this easy for another first date.”

“We’re not having other first dates,” Adam said before he realized what the words meant.

“Orchids,” he said quickly to distract them both. “The red ones.”

Ronan let out a resigned sigh. “What about them?”

He kissed Ronan, stealing as much of the funnel cake sugar from his tongue as he could. “Nothing really. Just that I want to kiss you a lot more.”

Adam didn’t think they kissed nearly enough. There would never be an enough for that.

“I’m memorizing the color of your eyes when you’re this shitty.”

“Did you mean sweet? Because I’m trying to be sweet,” Adam said.

“You don’t have to fucking try,” Ronan mumbled.

Adam kissed him again.

Ronan eventually pulled them back into the festival with snarky pleas of more rides. By then the sun was setting, and Adam hated winter for this, for the slim days and their time together escaping his grasp.

“I’ll take pictures of you,” Adam offered, “I can’t go on another ride.”

“Please,” Ronan said, a word Adam hadn’t known would be in his vocabulary. “Just one more.”

Adam couldn’t say no. 

Ronan had the generosity to take them past the screams from Cyclops Shredder to the carousel. He snapped pictures of Adam instead, as they bobbed in lazy circles on their horses. Adam tried to smile and not look too self-conscious. Ronan did not stop, and eventually, Adam forgot about caring and leaned his head against the candy cane pole to study Ronan’s face.

He was so handsome. What was there to capture of Adam when Ronan was right there?

They got off the carousel and Ronan scrolled endlessly through his phone, a small smile on his face.

“How many pictures of me did you take?” Adam asked, amused.

“Mind your business.” Ronan glimpsed up at the sky. “We should probably go soon.”

He hated winter for this. “Let’s get hot chocolate first.”

“I don’t want hot chocolate.”

“Then stand in line with me while I get it.”

They pushed their way around clumps of people. It had only gotten more crowded with the bursts of color from the strung up fairy lights.

Ronan was handsome here too, his face sullen from having to wait in another line, his face three different colors from the mismatched lights.

“How long is this place open?” Adam had his hot chocolate warming up one hand, the other whispered occasionally against Ronan’s.

“Till two.”

“We should stay.”

“There’s nothing else to see,” Ronan pointed out. “And you have work at hell o'clock tomorrow.”

He always chose unfortunate moments to be logical.

“I don’t want today to end,” Adam admitted.

“I’m good at this date thing, aren’t I?”

“Don’t be a shithead.”

Ronan laughed the soft, breathy laugh Adam loved. “There’s gonna be other days like this.”

Adam playfully bumped into Ronan's shoulder. “Yeah?”

Ronan adjusted Sunflower under one arm, his eyes steeled with exaggerated determination. “Go on another date with me, Parrish.”

The answer was yes, of course. Adam knew Ronan knew that already.

“You’ve got something on your face,” he said instead.

Ronan’s hand jerked up but Adam’s was quicker.

He pressed his thumb under Ronan’s bottom lip. “It’s just a bit of—” he tilted his hand up and covered Ronan’s whole face with it— “you’ve got a bit of beauty. Right over here.” He rubbed his hand all over Ronan’s face.

Adam said it all through laughter, and it still wasn’t smooth, but he didn’t care.

Ronan made an affronted sound as he suffered through it, but when Adam moved his hand back, his eyes were amused. He grabbed Adam’s wrist and pulled his hand back to his face, kissing each of his fingers and every inch of his palm.

Right there, in clear view of all the people who brushed by them.

“Well? Did you get it all off?” Ronan asked with a wry smile. The pink extended from his ears to his cheeks.

“No.” Adam’s voice was shaky with remnants of laughter, his cheeks hurt from smiling. “No, I think it’s permanent.”

“What a shame.”

Ronan laced their fingers together and their twined hands swung between them, right there, visible and intimate.

In the parking lot, Ronan walked ahead of Adam to get the passenger door for him.

“You’re copying me,” Adam said.

Ronan scoffed. “You didn’t invent opening doors.”

He slanted a shielding hand over between Adam’s head and the doorframe as Adam ducked into the BMW. 

The warmth that filled him had nothing to do with the hot chocolate. Adam twisted around to check the backseat.

The flowers had not wilted.

**Author's Note:**

> i know i was just here last week haha sorry. also sorry for the poor continuity/characterization in this...i was writing random dialogue between editing my other fic and it really shows lol
> 
> title is from greek tragedy by the wombats


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